What I can do - I will -
Though it be little as a Daffodil -
That I cannot - must be
Unknown to possibility -
Chuck Lorre Productions #215 Edit Chuck Lorre Productions #215 “Mr. Misogyny’s Tips for Breaking Through the Glass Ceiling”
Shrill Bad, Dusky Good: No man can happily work or vote for a woman whose voice sounds like a mom or wife yelling at him. Whether running a Fortune Five Hundred company or running for office, women should practice speaking like Kathleen Turner in Body Heat (If you have small children present, rent Who Framed Roger Rabbit and check out Jessica Rabbit). Power Words: Down through the ages there have been secret words and phrases that a select group of women have known and use to give them control over men. Use them wisely and you’ll be on the other side of that glass ceiling before you know it. A short list includes: panties, huge, amazing, and “anything you want, just hurry.” For increased effectiveness, say these power words like Kathleen Turner. Boobs: If you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em. If you don’t got ‘em, buy ‘em. (CAUTION: This will cause other women to hate you. Do not despair. Once you and your terrific rack are running things, you can fire the jealous bitches.) Politically Correct Flirting: There is no such thing. That being said, if, by subtle words or actions, you can make a man feel sexually viable, he will act like a fool and you can steal his job. If you think that’s cruel, you’re not ready to break through the glass ceiling and should instead consider marrying a fat guy with hedge fund money and a history of confusing his erection pills with his heart medication.
* The views of Mr. Misogyny are not endorsed, held, or shared by Chuck Lorre Productions. Chuck Lorre, anyone who works for Chuck Lorre, or any of his friends, neighbors and relatives.
I have an on going love affair with shoes. Heels, flats, boots, sandals, wedges, stilettos, platforms—I love them all. Every now and again I fall in love with a new pair (or a few pairs) of shoes, and my heart flutters. High heels give confidence and flats make me feel cute and playful; every pair presents a new mood and a new style. Currently, I am lusting over the peep-toe ankle boots that are so popular right now. They are edgy and cool. Plus, they would look great with skinny jeans!
Mike walks into his apartment. Upon opening the door, he is instantly greeted by a welcome silence. Loosening his tie as if proud to have kept it at attention the whole day, he gazes about his apartment. Defiantly, he removes his suit coat and lays it on a nearby chair.
Striding over to his newly purchased Ikea, black leather sofa, he stops to glance at his answering machine to see if he has any new messages. There are none. Unconcerned he lays on the sofa with hand behind his head, basking in the silence.
Jolted, as if hit by a surge of electricity, Mike sits up. The phone was ringing. “I must have dozed off,” Mike thought to himself. “Baltimore 410-569-7348” was the message on the the caller id.
“Home,” Mike said under his breath.
“Dad?” the voice on the other line asked.
“Hey Joel,” Mike responds “What are you doing?”
“I just got home form my baseball game; we won 5-4!” Mike’s 8 year old son replies.
“O yeah? That’s great!,” Mike said as he examines the small flecks of grit under his neatly trimmed fingernails.
“Where is your sister?,” inquires Mike.
“She’s at gymnastics until 7:30,” Joel says casually, glad to have a moment to talk to his father without his 6 year old sister whining to have a turn on the phone. Neither one of them have seen their father in the 2 months since the divorce became final and their dad moved to Phoenix, Arizona.
Mike inquires about how school is going for his son all while wondering if he has the ingredients to make Asian stir-fry in his kitchen.
*Beep Beeeeeeep* Mike hears the familiar sound of his Blackberry announcing that he has received a new email. Hurriedly, he cuts off Joel’s description of his new science project to give some excuse about their being someone at the door. Before Mike has time to hang up the phone, Joel has time to quickly say, “I love you Daddy.”
Fidgeting with his suit coat, trying to find his Blackberry, Mike manages to reply with “Mmmm hmmm….. love you too. Gotta go. Bye.”
Mike hangs up the phone and starts reading his latest update on his newest client.
1) Make a well needed deposit in my bank account.
2) Take Matt out on a date.
3) Buy a new pair of shoes (or 3).
4) Potential buy a new swimsuit (at least look without guilt).
5) Make a withdrawal without cringing.
6) Two words: Maxi dress!
7) Night(s) out with Cassie.
8) Take a nice long visit to my homeland i.e. Borders.
9) Give Matt with a “Congratulations on your new job” present.
10) Get my mom something pretty.
11) Road trip to Chicago!
12) And with the rest of the money? SAVE SAVE SAVE!
I don’t think anyone really knows or understands everything you learn from being a Makin’ Music director until you become one yourself. Some people don’t care anything about MM and that’s ok. You may not appreciate the value of putting together a musical show for a club competition; but understand this- Makin’ Music is valuable in the outside world. Directors have to be able to work with everyone. They have to work intimately with a small group of co-directors, take direction from Tony, Kim, the coordinators, and the GMs. They must maintain the respect and give respect to a cast of 60-90 people. (and it doesn’t help when the group you lead have to be convinced to listen to you)
After two years of directing, I know exactly what I am capable of. I have stretched my creativity as far as “Entertainment Value” will let it. I have never felt so proud of myself as I have during show week. Because of MM, I am confident in my abilities; I can control my emotions; I can work with difficult people; I feel I can trust my co-workers; and I have met my best friends. The things I learned being a director will help me in life more than anything else I learned in a classroom (outside of Bible class of course).
Professors, parents, and peers may not understand, but any past or present director will tell you- Makin’ Music is fantastic teacher.
I have lived with criticism all my life, as have many other people. I know what it’s like to be told you can’t do something by people you love and respect, and I know what it’s like to go without the support of loved ones. I have made major decisions on my own. I have had people try to tear me down. People close to me have intentionally hurt me, I know what it means to feel betrayed, beaten down, worthless.
That being said, I have figured out that I am in charge of how I feel. I will not allow anyone to make me feel bad about myself, my decisions, club, my Makin Music show, my role as a director, my family, or my friends. Today, someone tried to make me feel small. They tried to diminish my authority as a director. It didn’t work. I am content with most of my choices in life. I will not allow anyone to make me feel bad about myself. I am happy. Really, really happy. Nothing anyone can say or do will ever make me feel bad about who my friends are and I will definitely not feel bad about my romantic relationships. My personal life is my business. Comment on it all you like, but don’t expect me to feel bad. Apologies are for when I do something wrong, and I have done nothing in my personal life that demands an apology that I haven’t already given.
Because I am trying to be an adult about this situation, it ends here. There will be no retaliation or lingering feelings of resentment. The only reason I even wrote this blog was to close the issue for myself and for anyone else familiar with it. Let’s all move on together, shall we?